Criticism: The Good, the bad, and the ugly!

So I’ve been kind of writing this post in my mind for 2-3 weeks. Finally I think I can post about it without cringing. So here goes. No matter what industry you work in or hobby you do, you are bound to come across constructive criticism. This form of criticism is used mainly to motivate a person to do better than they have done in the past. It’s not meant to hurt your feelings or make you feel unwanted.

2-3 weeks ago I received some criticism from my mentor about some behaviors. I will now go into detail about it specifically. We were at third-party person’s house having a training weekend. Did I feel good? No. Then why was I there? Because Tia needed the training before Working Boxer Nationals. So majority of the time spent in her house and not on the field learning and assisting other club members. I did my IV medications in their kitchen, I didn’t realize until the second day that that said homeowners husband gets quessy see stuff like that. But again, it could’ve been solved by saying “Hey it makes so and so uncomfortable with that, could you do it in a back bedroom,” I would’ve gladly gone to another room. I was so fatigued I could barely stand up.

So Sunday as we were all saying goodbyes and hit the road (me still oblivious to the “wrong doing” I had done. About half an hour on the road I got a dissertation text from my mentor and good friend:

“When you come to training be prepared to pay on your own not have someone remind you to pay. The food offered is not free donate to that please it flies to the club or who ever supplied it. Stay on the field, someone may need your help to be on a group. We all want to be warm and cozy. So dress appropriately. If you need time to go warm up, walk your dogs etc. that’s fine but don’t disappear. I find you doing that way too often. You learn by watching others. Keep tabs when you are on ON the list. Be on time. It is hard to help someone who has to be always hunted down. We all want others to excel but just showing up at weekend trainjng is not enough you got to work your dog at home. You need to Help set up take down and clean up. I love you to pieces, just frustrated, and sometimes feel like You are not serous about this. I know it’s a thrill… but my out look on my life is my dogs and getting goals not half ass I’m tired a lot, exhausted still goin on. I wouldn’t waste time tracking Tia, just get the BH and ztp done. Start over with the pup. And I would suggest getting a dog walker for the pup. I have walker for my dogs also. For the ones that need extra exercise. I don’t know how you can improve your health so you don’t loose wind in the field do you?! Maybe starting to walk 30-60 min on dreadmill?! Sorry for lecture don’t be mad. Just worried and frustrated”

Well, first off don’t text me giving me constructive criticism when I just saw you face to face 5 minutes ago. I don’t do text or Facebook wars, I do adult sit downs. It offends me as a human being. If it was important enough to you to send a text then its important enough for you to say it to my face and get a real reaction instead of hiding behind a phone.

Now we are past that point, some points made were valid. Being a good club member is important and if I expect people to be there for me, I must be there for them. I did stay in the house a lot instead of being in the outside watching and learning. I should’ve been on the field more. I do need to help with setup and cleanup. I just need someone to show me how on the set up part. I don’t really know what she means by disappear maybe to take my medicines. I stopped looking at the dry erase board because they kept changing the order we were running in and I wasn’t sure and I was just like they’ll come and get me. Which would have been avoided if I was down on the field. So again I say a lot of stuff could’ve simply been explained if she would’ve just talked to me. In a later text she said she “will not be enabling me anymore by feeling bad or doing things for me” The only thing I get from this is she hold Tia for protection work. Well last time I did not ask her. She snatched the leash out of my hands. I could’ve held Tia. But on this note I will take one for the team. I won’t ask for her help if she thinks she is “enabling me”. I don’t need anyone’s pity or feeling bad. I did my hour long IV fluids out amongst the group so I wouldn’t be isolated from everyone. I didn’t do it to get new members to feel sorry for me. Like I said I don’t need anyone’s pity.

I respect my mentor and friend a lot however the way she came at me, through a text message. It shows to me that you don’t think of me as a friend enough to tell me to my face. If I had an issue with her, I would sit her down and we’d talk through it like adults. See because before I pass judgement on someone I would like to know their side of the story too. Because what I am seeing thats happening on the outside could be totally different then what I’m not seeing on the inside. She doesn’t understand my diseases any way. She’s one to say push through it no matter what health issues you have. Sometimes I can do that and sometimes I can’t and its something she’s going to have to understand with me. I can only do so much before my body goes kaput and doesn’t want to work anymore. Which is why I rest a lot so I can have the energy and strength to hold my own dogs during protection work.

Now looking at my health I learned a new think If I take my rescue inhaler before I go on the field it helps with my breathing. Also we have a physicians assistant in our club and she recommended talking to my doctor about Propranolol for my performance anxiety.I haven’t tried it yet but Physicians assistant said she takes it and it helps her so much with nerves on the field. So we will see how this works for me.

Overall it as good constructive criticism but delivered in the wrong way. I spoke my peace to my mentor and its all behind us. I’m becoming a better club member and I’m figuring out how to discreetly take my medications to not make anyone feel uncomfortable.

Tia is now with Minna for the next couple weeks training. I will explain why in another post but I have been practicing my handler skills and tracklaying skills with Capone. I think he’s liking the extra attention he’s getting.  Well thats it for this post. See ya next post.

Ellasha